


Book One: Grief

by CarrotQuill



Series: Ancestor [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22974238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarrotQuill/pseuds/CarrotQuill
Summary: Once upon a time there was a woman who would come to be known as "the Dolorosa".
Series: Ancestor [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651006
Kudos: 7





	1. Bittersweet Beginnings

The night sent a chill through the fields, which were barren and unassuming, and the chill sent a shiver through her body, 'her' in this case being the one who would come to be known as 'the Dolorosa'. For now however she was simply known as 'porrim'. She was tall, thin with limbs that didn't seem to stop, but where they did manage to cease came hands with long gentle fingers, with delicate jade painted clawtips that held onto the reins to the hoofbeasts of her carriage. Her face was long with years of experience, with fangs bared, lips slightly parted to the mist of her breath, and eyes piercing green not unlike that of the alternian moon. Her hair curled up from her neck, but looked effortlessly neat. The gown she wore was elegant especially for one of her species, a solid black fabric accented in the jade she seemed so fond of, she was also covered in a similarly green transparent silk from her shoulders. She tightened the grip on her steeds instinctively as she saw approaching from the distance a mysterious stranger. They appeared to be crouched by the road side, a moment passed before they stood, continuing to walk towards Porrim and her carriage.

As she got a closer look at the woman a frown formed on her brow. Porrim could not quite make out the details, but they seemed to be a woman, a waif of a woman. Impossibly thin, and plain, so oddly plain. Her dress was ornate almost east alternian in design and her hair was done up in a neat bun. She felt so out of place for how in place she felt. Her face was gaunt, and horns curved almost like a rams. most of all though, it was the eyes that porrim remembered so clearly. hollow, as if they looked right past her into the future, the past, anywhere but the now.  
and then she was gone.

The carriage came to a stop where the mysterious woman had knelt and with shocked short breath Porrim saw what the woman had left...a grub? So far out of the brooding caverns it was bizarre to see a grub, she had no explanation for their presence. She knelt down to get a closer look and her emerald eyes sharpened into pinpoints at the grubs candy red carrapace. She hissed rearing back her clawed hand, she was an old hat of the brooding caverns, it was her caste; the jade bloods, duty to ensure the purity of alternian offspring. This mutant could not see another day it was an affront to the system she was raised to uphold. As she brought her clawed hand down her muscles stopped involuntarily...no not quite involuntarily. She saw the grub move to look at her with two blood red irises. Their horns were stubs barely visible above the dirty black mat of hair on their head. their eyes locked, her hand inches from evisceration.

Porrim: You....are not natural I...  
Grub: *Gurgle*.  
Porrim: I suppose it would be cruel to not even give you a chance, you won't last long out here by yourself, and regardless red is not my colour.

She stood, shawl draping her like flowing water she turns to leave, but her foot sticks to the floor as if frozen in ice as she hears a scream from behind her. It is not a scream of want or desire; the grub doesn't seem hungry or tired, it is the scream of a child who wishes dearly to be loved and to love in return. Porrim slowly turns back and the noise ceases, giving a hiccup the young grub blows a spit bubble.

Porrim picks the child up gently cradling them within the crook of her elbow.

Porrim: Perhaps I will assist in finding you a lusus, cruelty it seems is not my colour either.

She sighs as the child giggles at her, their legs grasping at a finger she had dangled above them. She could only imagine what the future had in stall for them.

* * *

Times passes in mysterious ways, a lifetime can feel like 14 sweeps until you meet a grub whom you can't find a lusus to bond with, then just 3 can escape you without a thought. It's stopping to ponder such a thought that Porrim finds herself getting ready for a supply run from the hive she had called home since she and her young charge had taken shelter there for safety. It was humble, only had the two rooms, one for living, and the other for sleeping. It also had the benefit of being far out of the way lest imperial soldiers cull them on sight, one for the crime of abandoning their station in life and the other for the audacity of being born in the first place.

Kankri: MY GUARDIAN!

The yell came from the other room, preceding a small troll child with pants hiked up well past their tummy. He wore no shirt much to his guardians chagrin, his hair had not become any less a mat of tangles that threatened to swallow his nub horns whole. His face was young and plump full of life yet lived, and love yet given. Porrim had named him after a brooding caverns mentor of hers, a fellow she had been fond of in her younger years but realised that their compassion would eventually get him culled. He comes to a stop with a little hop standing in front of his guardian expectantly a soft delicate hand came down between his horns.

Porrim: Yes my charge?  
Kankri: You are going for supplies! May I please come this time?

She lets out a sigh, kneeling slowly to meet her green to his red gaze.

Porrim: Dearheart we have spoken about this before, it is dangerous and I would lose you and my heart as well if you were to come with me.  
Kankri: Ok...but...can you bring back some chocolate beetles today?

Kankri lazily swings his arms in front of him wearing a big grin on his face. It's almost enough for Porrim to not notice his lack of a please, she chooses to ignore it for the moment and she nods in agreement. Kankri cheers as she gets back up heading to the door, pulling a hood over her head fastening the velcro around her horns as she does, obscuring her eyes she opens the door.

Porrim: Behave little one, I will return soon.

The market is not crowded, but not empty either. Porrim is careful to keep her face obscured as she haggles for the things she needs. Slowly her basket is filled, but before she can quickly finish she sees something out of the corner of her eye. A woman at a fortune telling booth, horns rounded, face gaunt, plain looking but wearing cloths that would suggest anything but and eyes, eyes staring right through her into the future... past...anywhere but the now.

Porrim: Excuse me.

Porrim had walked over to her without even realising it, standing in front of the seated woman she could feel her stomach turn to knots as if her whole body was trying to tell her to leave, to save herself.

Mystic: It is one coin for your fortune.  
Porrim: I...all right?

Slowly Porrim paws at her purse and pulls out the money to give the fortune teller, she wants to ask her about that night but..is this really the woman she saw? Thinking back she cannot remember the details of the woman's face at all, and ram horns surely are not that uncommon.

The mystic is mumbling to herself as she stares into her crystal ball which porrim is sure she can still see the glue of the price sticker. The mystic closes her eyes for just a moment but when they open everything falls away, it is just the blackness of space, the passage of time and the two women.

Mystic: You will raise the boy, he will become a great leader, people will flock to him and his sermon of love and peace.  
Porrim: I...I.  
Mystic: He will become a martyr not with any of the words he preaches, but a single scream filled with the hate of countless trodden upon and doomed trolls. you will lead him to this destruction and he will make glorious discord for my employer.

Porrims head spins as she tries to step back onto the ground that isn't there anymore. The mystics words swell in her head, but she can't hold onto their meaning, they are without substance to her even as their instructions are written against the matter of her skull and ensconced into her very will.

Then the world returns, Porrim finds herself sweating? Crying? While on her hands and knees. After a second she realises she isn't breathing and takes in a big ugly breath. Shakily coming to her feet she stares absently at the empty booth. Silently she turns and heads for home, legs steady only through her own will, or at least she hopes it is her own.

Porrim returns home and is accosted by her young charge hugging her leg looking up at her expectantly. Still feeling a little weak she smiles, and produces a single chocolate beetle for the child.

Porrim: One for now, you can have more later.  
Kankri: Ok, thank you!

Kankri hungrily devours the beetle it takes him in all 4 bites to finish it as Porrim places the basket onto the table where the two have their meals. She lightly falls to the couch almost feather-like pulling her hood back with one hand and removing sweat clumped hair from her forehead with the other. she gives a long drawn out sigh before looking over to her charge.

Porrim: Well then, how about you tell me about today's dream.

Kankri's face lights up and he hops over to snuggle up to her.

Kankri: Ok, so, this time I were joined by a new friend, I think their name was Damara, they were really weird and they had these curly horns-

* * *

Kankri awakens, cold sweat on his brow, breath short, and heart racing. His dreams are cloudy, something about living with...Porrim? bizarre...speaking of, Kankri turned his head to see his husktop with a incoming message from the devil herself.

Porrim: Kankri are you awake yet?

kankri dries his hair, leggings already hitched well up to his chest as he takes a seat to finally answer this message.

Kankri: I just got out of the ablution trap, what is it you need Porrim?  
Porrim: Today's the day, isn't it?  
Kankri: Joyous to be, what day are you referring to?  
Porrim: The game, Kankri, have you already forgotten?

Kankri gives a long sigh as he looks out on his lawnring, wind hollows the space between hives, producing the note desolation plays to keep it's instrument in tune. He turns his gaze back to Porrim.

Kankri: Right the game. the one that will end our world?  
Porrim: Has already ended it, we've been over this.  
Kankri: Just because our hand was forced sweeps before we were even born does that mean it is not still our hand to pull the trigger?

Porrim places a firm hand on kankri's cheek patting twice, he shrinks at the touch with a look of indignation, which just makes a sly smile spread on Porrims face.

Porrim: I suppose it doesn't, but regardless we need to get you into the game, you are our leader after all.  
Kankri: I still don't understand why I'm the leader, what even is 'seer of blood' meant to mean?  
Porrim: I suppose remarks like that are also why you are our leader.

Kankri rubs his eyes, the light of prospit's moon had always bothered him, not that he had experienced much of it, he was known to rarely sleep on their quest.

Kankri: And once I enter the meteors come, right?  
Porrim: They are already here, but yes the brunt of them begin to fall once trolls start entering.  
Kankri: so our group aren't the only ones playing?  
Kanaya: No, But Our Group May Be The Most Important.

Karkat crinkled his nose over that remark, though he talked big the idea of being the most important anything really did not sit well with him. Before the tension in the room made him want to scream, he changed the subject.

Karkat: OK WHATEVER, WHAT ABOUT THIS BOMB JADE MENTIONED?  
Porrim: She says it can be used to save us all.  
Kankri: I thought the scratch was meant to save us.  
Porrim: a backup plan then? though Damara's words still worry me...  
Kankri: Regardless I wish she'd hurry up.  
Meenah: Yea me too kankri, this is boring I wish you'd just wake up.

Kankri glances over in time to see Meenah holding an explosive device, he is distracted however by the bindings holding his hands up. He looks over to Porrim screeching in grief, she looks different in a way he can't figure out, Meulin is there too, screaming out to him. He can feel the searing of his flesh and a pain in his chest he looks down to the arrow there, feeling a heat rise from his gut something so pure he had never felt a hatred lain dorment. he looks back up and sees Meenah almost unrecognisable as she grins bomb still in hand.

The Condesce: Look at that, time to wake up.

The bomb ticks to zero, there is light, and then darkness.

Kankri awakes screaming, cold sweat on his brow, breath short, heart racing. His dreams are clear, something about a coming apocalypse, and the day he dies.

* * *

Porrim sits in stunned silence as Kankri finishes relaying his nightmare. He is still shaking as he stares down at his wrists almost as if he can still feel the searing pain, Porrim gently wraps her hands around them, he instinctively flinches.

Porrim: Dearheart, these are just dreams you do not-  
Kankri: No! They are not merely dreams, I believe...I believe these are visions from another version of our world. They are telling me something, they are telling me our world is not how it should be! Demons have taken over our realm and they preach of hate and murder as if those things should just be accepted and I cannot sit here, stay here for my own safety anymore while others suffer in my stead!  
Porrim: Kankri...  
Kankri: I've made up my mind my guardian.

porrim weakly chuckles wiping away a tear forming in her eye, she shakes her head.

Porrim: No it's just..when did you grow up, wasn't it just yesterday you were begging me for a chocolate beetle and smudging you face as you ate it?

Kankri puffs up his face, indeed he had filled out as a young man, the leggings he wore looked almost suitable to him now instead of....let's just say striking. Porrim looked at him eyes swelling with pride. she pulled him into a tight embrace threatening to never let go.

Porrim: Then I will follow you to the ends of this world.  
Kankri: my guardian I...

For once Porrims young charge was lost for words, all he could do was return her embrace.

this the eve of their meeting, 8 sweeps have passed, only 1 more will go by them before a young charge will be known as the signless, and an outcast will be known as his first follower.

Kankri stood amongst the empty room he had once called home, now barren of anything but the simple furnishings that had served them so well. It was melancholy in a way he had never felt in his short life. They say nostalgia is the pain of coming home, then what is the word for the pain of leaving? these thoughts do not last long as Porrim strides over, she roughly fixes his hood over his head and eyes and pats him on the shoulders.

Porrim: Do you remember what we went over?  
Kankri: Keep my head down, do not speak to anyone unless I ask you first, do not draw a crowd.

Porrim nods proudly and gives him a kiss on the top of his head as she turns for the door and opens it, the Alternian sun is just setting, the brightness is still harsh but bearable as kankri takes his first step out of their former hive.

He stares up at the sky as he stands after the thresh-hold his face no longer as plump with youth, but still full of life yet lived, and love he has yet to give. He stands there and ponders the path ahead, dangerous, but exciting still. His gaze meets Porrims who is expectantly waiting for him ten paces away, he gives her a warm smile, which she returns without much trouble as he runs up to her and takes her hand.

Kankri: You know what my guardian  
Porrim: What is that my charge?  
Kankri: I don't think I need a hut to be my hive.

Porrims brow farrows as her head tilts to the side quizzically.

Kankri: As long as I have you I have a hive, where ever you are that is where I can lay my head without concern.  
Porrim: And where ever you may lie that is where I will be.

Porrim squeezes his hand and feels him squeeze back, there is no need for further words, just this silence and a this feeling of love, a love and bond between two trolls that transcends want and need. For us on this earth we recognise it instantly, the love between a parent and a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cover art by the Breeoche  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/TheBreeoche  
> tumblr: https://thebreeoche.tumblr.com/


	2. The Isolated, the Insolent

Kankri: This world is violent beyond necessity. It tells us to cull our neighbour, but for what reasons? Purity of our gene pool? What good is it to weed out the weak, the different, the subversive? Let me ask you who here has had to stand by and watch someone they love die? and who here thinks they deserved death!

The crowd sou rounding the preacher murmured among themselves, none objected to what he had to say. They mostly consisted of trolls low on the hemospectrum, but there were a few high caste there. Kankri wiped his brow before continuing his sermon.

Kankri: This is not how it SHOULD be, to help one another, to want to raise each other up, is that not our true nature? Should it be normal to witness neighbour and friend alike die daily, I say nay. They have the power but we have numbers, care for your neighbour as you care for yourself and you shall never live in fear again, and together we can build something Alternia has never seen before, not truly, and that is community.

The crowd gently claps at what he says but as Porrim spies a guard patrol heading for the area, she silently gets the modest crowd to disperse.

Kankri steps down from his box with a huff. The Alternian night is hot and sticky, and these hours of sporadic preaching have left him dry in the throat. Porrim strides over handing him a small water-skin, which Kankri drinks deep of as the two stride away from the scene, being mindful to stay within the crowd hoods obscuring their faces in part.

Kankri: Thank you my guardian.  
Porrim: It is my pleasure dearheart, I do wish you would not get so carried away though.  
Kankri: This work is important, I can't slow down.  
Porrim: I understand that, but the work is dangerous as well.

Her voice is a low hiss as they pass by set of guards travelling the opposite direction. Her face lined with worry, age beginning to show, more gaunt with recent years. Food is scarce and Porrim rarely allows her charge to go hungry much to his protest. His hand gently wraps her slender arm as he looks up to her, eyes crimson, full of concern.

Kankri: And what of you, do you plan to go hungry tonight as well? You have not eaten a full meal all week, with what supplies we have I insist you eat tonight!  
Porrim: I am FINE, us of the jade caste are built strong.

Kankri snorts shaking his head.

Kankri: I think I can survive one night without food.

Porrim opens her mouth to retort, but then something catches her ear. A troll coming their way is calling to them, Porrim takes a moment to appraise her. The woman was so oddly plain, but dressed so garishly, so thin she looks as if she would fall down the storm drain if she wondered to close, and her horns curved like those of a ram. She spoke in an unexpectedly rushed tone.

Mithering woman: Sir, ma'am, you are the preacher and his caretaker, are you not?

Porrim places herself between this woman and her charge, Kankri leans to see around her eyebrows cocked.

Porrim: And who might be asking?  
Mithering woman: No one at all, I merely come offering advice.  
Porrim: To tell us to stop for our own good? No we're fine.  
Mithering woman: Nay, to provide you a way to stop starving.

Porrim sneers, she hates to admit it but the cloak she wears does little to hide her shrinking frame, she does well to put out an air of danger, but truth is in her state she would not do well in a fight.

Kankri: we're interested.

Porrim spins on her heel, ignoring the dizziness this causes. She frowns to at Kankri.

Kankri: We are not in a position to ignore help my guardian.  
Porrim: My charge please let me handle this...  
Kankri: I will not stand by and watch you wither, how can I preach community when I cannot even keep fed those dearest to me.

He takes her hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze, his eyes full of resolve. staring down at him she finally cedes to his judgement turning back to the woman.

Porrim: What is your advice then?  
Mithering woman: It is quite simple, preaching gives little coin, unless you suddenly lean more purple that is.  
Mithering woman: But the wilds are bountiful, they are full of sustenance for those who know where to find it.  
Mithering woman: And I know where to find such a hunter, she lives just out of town in a cave, she is known as the displaced.

Porrim shares a worried look at kankri but all she sees is his determination.

Porrim: Very well, where is this cave.

* * *

It had taken much convincing and maybe a little shouting to get her to agree but Kankri had ensured his guardian had eaten before their trip into the underbrush. The night was still young and the trip promised to be short. The directions they had been given were straight forward enough, head into the forest, travel until they reached the cliff face, then follow it north to find the cave entrance.

Sure enough, only 40 minutes after they had set out a soft light shone ahead, seemed to be from a fire-pit within a recess of the cliff-side. Porrim gave a soft concerned look to her charge who merely smiled back to her as he approached.

Kankri: Hello! My name is Kankri, I have come to enlist the aid of a hunter!

Porrim hissed at his calls, following him into the cave, it seemed empty, though the thick leather curtaining that sat to the side of the cave entrance confirmed indeed someone did live here, even under the thick canopy of the forest the Alternian sun was cruel. Porrim watched on from the entrance still concerned, unfortunately for her a quick blow to the back of her head would make it seem her concern was founded.

Porrim: hhhng owe...

She slowly opened her eyes it was dark, all she could see was the stark light escaping the sides of a leather curtain, and two figures sitting shadowed by this faint light, slowly she began to realise they were speaking.

Kankri: -and that's why community is so important, yes you sacrifice a little of yourself, but if everyone does the same we all become stronger as a result, like the thread remember? So much stronger together!  
The Displaced: Sacrifice little self....become strong...like the string?  
Kankri: yes! you get it I knew you would!

Kankri was holding her hands tightly, a fire in his eyes. Said hands were rough and calloused, thick fingers ending in unkempt claws, sharp and deadly ready to rend whatever they touched. Her clothes were tatters, more cloth then clothing. Her eyes a dull green stared into his, of how little light there was in the cave it reflected off them like that of a cat. Her hair was wild like a forest fire, long as it was untamed. thin lips spread a concerned look across her face as she hung on his every word.

Kankri: So I don't think we got to exchange names yet....I am Kankri and the woman with me is my guardian Porrim  
The Displaced: Kankri...Porrim.

The displaced paused looking between the two, her eyes flash at Porrim who freezes where she is, the displaced notices her awake but does not seem concerned as she places a hand on her chest.

The Displaced: Am Meulin

Kankri smiles broadly at her squeezing her hands.

Kankri: A beautiful name!

Meulin turns away short of breath at that response. It's at this time Porrim noticed the smell, food cooking? Perhaps they had put something on under the burnt out embers of the fire? She slowly sat up.

Porrim: I guess I am glad to see neither of us is dead.  
Kankri: My guardian!

Kankri rushed to her side fussing over her.

Porrim: I don't know how you talked yourself out of a strife with that beast woman but I guess I am glad.

Kankri frowns and turns his head to look back at Meulin.

Kankri: My guardian, I don't understand?  
Porrim: She attacked me do you not remember, or does the lump on the back of my head not speak for itself?  
Kankri: My guardian...you collapsed and hit your head, meulin is no beast woman, she is a kindly hunter and so extremely intelligent...

Porrim felt the bump on the back of her head and frowned.

Porrim: But I...  
Kankri: You haven't been eating, you haven't been sleeping, you are skin and bone...I can't believe I let you get like this, honestly I feel so ashamed...  
Porrim: Dearheart no I-  
Kankri: NO, you do not get to say this was for my sake cause if it was...if this was for me

Red tears swell in his eyes, to us this may seem like some profound spiritual thing, but for trolls it was quite common for tears to tint the colour of their blood. He balls his fists and slams them into his thighs dramatically.

Kankri: If your suffering was all for me then I am no better then this blasted culture I am rebelling against.

Porrim gasped, shakily her hand reached out and is softly placed over his fist her face is not composed as it usually is at all, her brow is furrowed her concern free for anyone to see. She speaks quiet, almost too quiet to hear.

Porrim: I will take care of myself better from now on, for your sake then.

Kankri stares into her jade tinted eyes, before leaping into her arms tightly hugging her. Porrim slowly wraps her arms around him as well as he buries his wet face into her shoulder. It had been so long since they embraced like this, she'd forgotten how nice it was to comfort him, to be his rock.

Meulin: The food done.

Her call came out soft, but loud enough to snap the two out of their stupor, Kankri sluggishly sat next to his guardian as Meulin came over with the food, some nice steamed fish for them to enjoy.

* * *

Porrim fusses with the hem of her dress, it's frayed and old at this point. There isn't much time for fashion when you are an enemy of Her Imperial Condescension. She sighs letting the tatters fall back to her ankles, stealing another glance to the woman beside her.

Much unlike Porrim, Meulin was not concerned with the details of her clothes, instead eyes fixated upon the tomes before her. Though at first the older woman had objected to being the younger's teacher, she found it quickly a formality. As Kankri had surmised Meulin was indeed very intelligent, writing and reading were second nature, and it only took a few days to have her reading the basics.

Meulin: This one, what does say?

Her speech however was slower to improve.

Porrim: "Criteria" the full sentence is "those who do not meet this criteria forfeit their life for the greater good."  
Meulin: Bad....  
Porrim: Yes I know, but to strive forward to new ideas we must first respect and know the old ways, unless we are forced to repeat them.

These of course were not Kankri's words, Kankri could not stomach any of these books. Any time Porrim had tried to read them he would shrink in disgust, and though he would reluctantly listen Porrim knew he could not bare to think on these old ways. But that was ok, Porrim thought, because with his new scribe he would never have to trouble himself with dirtying his soul ever again.

Meulin: -and...whoever denies...this r...rightful decree shall subm...submit themselves to be....culled.

Porrim placed a hand on her young students shoulder and squeezed.

Porrim: Very good, we may take a rest now.

Meulin nodded, quickly closing the tome and getting up to rummage through their supplies. Before she is able to find what she is searching for the door creaks, Porrim finds Meulin between her and the door in almost an instant, the young huntress is fast, as good a guard as a scribe it would seem. But her posture relaxes to that of a submissive kitten as Kankri gently closes the door behind himself. He has to hurriedly stop Meulin from prostrating before him.

Kankri: We've talked about this Meulin please, I am your equal.  
Meulin: yes, equal to Mentor, I am faithful disciple!  
kankri: you are both my beloved, that is enough of that!

Porrim give a small chuckle getting up and rubbing some dirt from Kankri's cheek while his hands are full with Meulin who is still attempting to bow before him.

Porrim: How did it go?  
Kankri: Chartering a boat was harder then I thought it would be, but I did manage to hear some rumours while out there.  
Meulin: Room ours? What rooms have claimed?  
Porrim: No dear, he said rumours, idle chatter among people.  
Kankri: Yes, I heard something of particular note from this woman with these distinctive curved horns.

Porrim gave pause, curved horns, it felt like where-ever they went there were women with curved horns.

Kankri: She mentioned a psiionic sold into slavery here recently.  
Meulin: Psiionic! Gold! Gold!  
Porrim: Yes the gold blooded caste, is that correct my charge?  
kankri: Yes my guardian, he is to be executed in grand display tomorrow for refusing to use his powers.

Meulin frowns sitting down, much like a cat, staring up as Kankri and Porrim lock eyes.

Kankri: I think we should save him.  
Porrim: What?  
Kankri: He could be a powerful ally, sure we have food and protection thanks to Meulin but there is safety in numbers as well!  
Porrim: And visibility! You would have us culled before we even journey beyond the sea?  
Kankri: I would have us practice what we preach my guardian!

Porrim rubs her temples giving a long drawn out sigh. It's not like she didn't want to go with him to rescue this complete stranger, she after all hung on Kankri's every word, but this was crazy it was direct defiance of the Condesce.

Meulin: I go alone.

Kankri and Porrim both looked down to Meulin who was staring back up with a determined look.

Meulin: Master safe, mentor safe, I go.

as if in unison Kankri and Porrim spoke

Kankri: No.  
Porrim: No!

They looked at each other, Porrim was the first to speak, and spoke decisively

Porrim: If we go, we go together.

* * *

With hoods pulled tightly over faces to protect eyes from the harsh Alternian sun the three ventured out towards the mansion-like hive at the edge of town. Porrim, whose hood was the loosest of the three was their eyes, the sun blinding to most other trolls, jade bloods had the uncanny ability of not being all that bothered by it.

Porrim made a hand signal to the other two that the gate was clear, and best of all open. With a creak they slipped into the courtyard, and up to the latticework against the building. The recon Porrim had done just hours ago suggested their target was on the second floor, being held in a windowless room, and that the window on the far left of the hive lead to a storage room where no guards would be stationed. Said room would not be too far from their ultimate goal.

Porrim went up first, the window wasn't even covered giving a clear view into the room, it was packed with old art and furniture, sun-bleached from disuse. She gently lockpicked the window and slipped in, followed by her cohorts.

Gently they slipped from the em-brightened room into the darkened hall, only two doors away their prize, Porrim gently picked at the lock as the other two keep watch, a satisfying click, and a creak and they are in. The room has no light source, after the brightness of outside it's hard to adjust, the only thing in the room is a dark figure chained to the wall, Kankri rushes to the figures side, feeling for a pulse against cool skin.

Kankri: Can you hear me are you all right?

There's a spluttered cough from the figure.

Mituna: No, I've got a left side as well.  
Kankri: Ha...haha of course, let me help you.

Kankri beckons over porrim who gets to work on the shackles, they are much more fiddly. As she tries to pick them Meulin from behind her stands on edge.

Meulin: Hear something.  
Kankri: My guardian-  
Porrim: I'm going as fast as possible.  
Meulin: They are close!  
Porrim: I am aware.  
Mituna: Please take your time.  
Kankri: Please don't!  
Meulin: 10 seconds!  
porrim: I swear if you don't all be quiet I'm turning this breaking and entering around and taking us home!  
Kankri:  
Meulin:  
Mituna: Do I get to come too?

The door slams open, and in stroll 4 guards and a portly male troll, blue blooded naturally. He looks the haggard crew up and down, with a click of his fingers the lights in the room flare on and for the first time Porrim gets a good look at the troll she is attempting to free.

His body is ragged covered in bruises and cuts that glint gold in the light, he is topless revealing a bone thin rib-cage which rhythmically bounces with his breaths, his mouth is a mess of teeth and twisted scorn at his 'master' and his eyes burn with a unholy passion both red hot and icy blue. his face harried is framed by hair that even in captivity remains seems perfectly kept.

The blue blood steps forward.

Blue blood: Hahaha house guest how wonderful, I take it you are the magnificent prophet, what was it the words you so proudly expounded "to shelter the isolated and insolent" so inspiring!

The blue blood spat on the floor, Meulin hisses in response, ready to pounce at a moments notice. Kankri stands, slowly, to his full height. He barely beats out the blue blood, who seems agitated by the loss of mere inches. Kankri begins to speak.

Kankri: I am no prophet, no hand to some god, I am merely a troll who-  
Blue blood: Who has trespassed on my property and has tried to steal from me!  
Kankri: What we are attempting is not theft it-  
Blue blood: DO NOT TRY ME. The lowblood belongs to me I have his deed, and since he belongs to me I am to do with him as I please!  
Kankri: You cannot own a fellow troll that is absurd it's-  
Blue blood: How this world works! Now enough of all of you, guards!

The blue blood claps, and the guards draw their weapons, but The Disciple is quick, despite kankri's plea's, she draws her claws, blue tint flashing in the florescent light, Porrim clucks her tongue desperately working to her hands limits to find the locks sweet spot.

Kankri: STOP!

The whole room seems to reverberate with energy, and with shock Kankri see's the scene before him stopped completely. Meulin had leapt back, just having opened her opponents chest, she herself had suffered a nasty cut to the shoulder, and was about to experience a fatal blow as a second guard was mid-swing coming at her. Kankri quickly looked around, then down, the psiionic was holding them all at bay.

Mituna: Well, big guy, if any time was the time for a miracle...

Mituna gives a pained smile, chuckling.

Mituna: It's now.

Kankri looks from the psiionic to the blue blood and back to the scene before him.

Kankri: ...Very well, you call me a prophet, a great man sent by a greater being.

He steps forward brazenly.

Kankri: Let me show you the power of a prophet.

He doesn't understand entirely what he is doing but he can't abide this violence, it is not his way, first he comes to Meulin. He gently places a hand on her cheek and stares deeply into her eyes, he idles there a moment taking in that fiery green before slowly running a hand down to the wound on her shoulder. She winces, but gasps as she looks down, the green blood had instantly clotted ceasing the flow that had been steadily oozing from the wound she looked back to him with awe, words escaping her, but her eyes saying it all. He turned away from her and approached the woman his beloved had slashed, he stared into this trolls eyes as well, hers were bronze, full of fear, Kankri smiles gently at her.

Kankri: Do not fear, be at peace.

His hand gently caressed over her wounds she too winced, but found herself similarly 'healed' Kankri gently leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.

Kankri: Go now with love, and do onto others as has been done unto you.

Kankri then turned to the blue blood, the psiionic had long since dropped his puppeteering of the guards and Meulin, to exhausted to do anything, but everyone was so transfixed upon Kankri- no the Signless as he approached the blue blood.

Kankri: is that prophet enough for you? have I proven my divinity?  
Blue blood: You y-you're a freak you're-  
Kankri: Getting impatient.

there was the sound of a clink behind him, the psiionic was free.

Kankri: Move.

The Blue blood wide eye'd scampered away from the Signless, maybe it was his display of power, or maybe he truly felt helpless as his guards bowed to Kankri. Porrim couldn't help but stare upon him with both awe and a heavy sadness, she had known her charge had grown into a man so long ago, but today she looked at him and realised that he had not only caught up with her but passed completely, she feels the divide between them, and finally she quietly accepted that it was no longer her duty to lead this man on his hard journey, but to follow.

Kankri: Psiionic!

His voice boomed commandingly

Kankri: I didn't get to ask you your name yet!  
Mituna: Heh, thought you'd never ask. though I am surprised you don't know already.

His twisted mouth full of teeth turned a wicked grin at the man who had saved his life.

Mituna: I mean it's written right there on the page.

* * *

The ship swayed gently, bathed in green and pink moonlight as it wavered to the rhythm of unheard symphony. The smell of salt was strong in the air, it struck Porrim as odd. She did not expect to find it so relaxing on the boat, especially after her first steps had proven her without sea legs. She listened to the lapping of water against the bow as she stared down at the chapter Meulin was just finishing up, she closed the tome. As she sighed, she seemed deep in thought.

Porrim: It is a lot to take in.  
Meulin: It concerns me, more than anything.

The past few months had really refined Meulin, she began speaking in less of a broken manner as they had reacquainted her with speech, Porrim beamed with some semblance of pride at how far she'd come. Gently her hand found it's way to cup over her young disciples hand reassuringly.

Porrim: You've done well, and you transcripts of kankri's sermon have been useful. You should not have concern, your work will see the fruit of change within our time.  
Meulin: You have assured me of that many times my mentor, but it does not assuage the concern itself to merely have its use questioned.  
Porrim: I suppose not, but do consider what Kankri might think to see you with such a wrinkle in your face!

With her thumb Porrim pressed into Meulins forehead smoothing out the frown that had gathered there, Meulin instinctively pulled away giving a laugh.

Meulin: Careful the master doesn't see you, lest he discover you have a fun side!  
Porrim: I take offence to the notion that I would not show him that side of myself, after all I have seen my fair share of loaded pants from him!  
Meulin: Wow! Gross my mentor, most unbecoming of a lady!  
Porrim: The mistake you have made all this time is seeing me as such a lady to begin with.

The two laughed as they prodded fingers and hands at each other, a short moment of levity for two women who knew their burdens and how rare it was to indulge in such frivolity. Porrim is the first to re-catch her breath.

Porrim: "Even after the price of oblivion has been paid, keep your faith. For those who come after us will save every one of our souls."  
Meulin: The second sermon I ever recorded, right?  
Porrim: Yes, even though he has told me about his dreams of the before many times, he so rarely talks about the after to me directly. I suppose my ulterior motive for teaching you to write was so he may speak out without knowing i can hear him.  
Meulin: Your love for him is that strong...

Her voice was almost dejected as she suggested it.

Porrim: I suppose but it's not like a love I have felt before, the closest I can describe it is to how my lusus must have felt towards me, however brief that time was before I was taken to the cloister. It sounds silly doesn't it, a troll loving another as if they were a lusus, but that is what I feel, a need to protect him and see him flourish.  
Meulin: I think I understand...I think...on top of everything I feel that too!

Porrim gave a weak laugh.

Porrim: then you promise me if I ever am to leave him you will protect him for me?  
Meulin: On my heart and soul, my mentor!

Meulin pressed a hand against Porrims heart, a gesture of sincerity, Porrim copied her action and the two shared a moments look.

Porrim: I will head in now, you should as well.

Meulin nodded as her mentor found her footing and wobbled towards the hold.

Mituna: So that's the plan then?  
Kankri: I mean, yea, make dock, spread the word, all we can really do is provide the spark.  
Mituna: I disagree, we could provide so much more then a measly spark.

Porrim leaned against the opposite side of the stairway banister as she listens in on the two men speak. She wasn't exactly eavesdropping, their group rarely held secrets from on another, but it was very rare she got to hear her beloved charge speak without her holding him back by simply being near.

Kankri: It's not that I disagree with you, it's just...armed revolution is so violent, I know we can change this land through good will.  
Mituna: You can also change it by removing a few heads from necks.  
Kankri: Mituna please...  
Mituna: Ok ok I get it, it's fine, I'm fine with this, it sure beats being used as a glorified battery or getting MY own head removed. It's just hard to imagine it's going to be easy on the mainland, you're only getting closer to the seat of power.  
Kankri: We can't make change by simply speaking in one place, word travels but it travels like sand in a sack with a hole in it.  
Mituna: It gets easier the further you go?  
Kankri: And loses all meaning out the gate.  
Mituna: You've got a real high opinion of yourself there bud!  
Kankri: I've got a high opinion of all trolls.

though not exactly visible past the solid red and blue, Mituna rolled his eyes and gave a shrug.

Mituna: I guess that is true, it's hard to believe anyone willing to stand up to all this, let alone the freak who could be killed on sight for simply bleeding. Never met anyone before you who could literally die from a paper-cut!  
Kankri: And I didn't think I'd meet someone with a bigger mouth then me till I met some dude being kept in storage!

Kankri gently punched Mituna in the shoulder, who responded in kind, the two then gave each other a tight hug.

Kankri: Stay safe I'm going to sleep ok.  
Mituna: You too nubs, 'night.

Kankri nods and heads for his room, while Mituna headed the opposite direction.

Porrim: Delightful as ever sir psiionic.  
Mituna: Hey as a side character I have to make myself interesting somehow.  
Porrim: Whatever gave you the idea you were a side character?  
Mituna: Well anyone reading this story knows what's about to happen next, it's basically gospel to them at this point, but also its hard to feel part of a group when you used to be property.

Porrim raised an eyebrow, as usual the psiionic was dense as a brick wall to her, impossible to read, and infuriatingly dismissive of sincerity.

Porrim: It's not like any of us have anywhere we belong. Our leaders a mutant, our hunter/scholar is a social outcast who survived by living in a cave for 5 sweeps, and I myself am a self exile.  
Mituna: The Dolorosa.  
Porrim: Hm?  
Mituna: Something about grieving, never mind do go on.  
Porrim: Right, well, even if you were an outcast, amongst us are you not right at home?  
Mituna: I suppose that is where I am, regardless of where the narrative will put me later, but it is still hard to be around all of you when...

Mituna pauses looking to the side, Porrim thinks she can almost see the sadness in his expression, one of inevetibility.

Mituna: Just, cherish what you have now, like I can't.

Porrim's brow fUrrowed, but she stood to the side to let him through, him giving her maybe the first sincere smile she'd ever seen from him.

She softly walks towards her charges cabin. Gently she raps on kankri's door, a short call from inside let's her know to enter, she does so, gently closing the door behind her. She stands there staring at her charge, now fully grown, 14 sweeps old, and still wearing those ridiculous leggings. He stands tall at his cabins window staring out to see, his limbs are a far cry from the stubs he used to have as a child. His face was...so, so long with years of experience, eyes focused betraying a brain always thinking always trying to figure out this world around him, and the bags under them telling the story of someone who had trouble sleeping because of this. In this rare private moment his mouth was without it's cocksure smile which always seemed to permeate his face. Porrim holds back tears as she takes in his silhouette, it's become harder for her to initiate their conversations she feels lost in how to serve him, fated to be merely his useless follower. Kankri breaks the silence with a crease forming in his brow as he turns to stand his full hight, almost eye to eye with his guardian now.

Kankri: My guardian what is wrong?

Porrim gives a chuckle and gently takes a seat at the desk.

Porrim: It's nothing my charge, nothing at all. Merely here to wish you a good night!  
Kankri: Really now? 14 sweeps and you don't think I can pick up when my guardian is sad?  
Porrim: You always did have a uncanny ability to know others.  
Kankri: Maybe that is the special ability of those with my blood colour.

He gently placed a hand in hers for comfort.

Kankri: what is it?  
Porrim: You...you've grown so big, so confident. I just...fear being left behind.

Kankri shakes his head.

Kankri: Never!  
Porrim: Heh as I have heard you say though it does not assuage the fear itself.  
Kankri: Perhaps not but it will be repeated until it is mantra.  
Porrim: Thank you...

Porrim stared past her charge out the window of his room, it would only be a few more days travel...

Kankri: You're tired my guardian, you should turn in for bed.  
Porrim: Yes...yes you are right dearheart.

She nodded and got up, his hand slipping from hers.

Porrim: just...just promise me you'll be safe?

Kankri smiled at her and gave her a reassuring nod. She left his room, and headed to her own. She laid in bed, her eyes heavy, it did not take long for them to close, and for her to find sleep.

The salt water gently licked at the timber of the ship, relentless, but soft all the same. Kankri and Meulin leaned against the banister staring out to the waves as their vessel lazily sailed towards their destination. surprisingly it was his disciple who broke the silence.

Meulin: It's so beautiful...

Kankri glanced at her, a glance which turned to a stare which turned him to a blush. She had cleaned up somewhat since their first meeting, her hair had a shine to it now, and her clothes were no longer tatters. She'd even gained some healthy weight since Porrim had started urging her to eat more. He was only broken from his trance when she spoke again.

Meulin: My master?  
Kankri: Y-yes you are beautiful! I mean the ocean is!

Kankri quickly turned away from her quizzical gaze. He thought about telling her once again to stop calling him master, it's not that he didn't like it, it's just it made his heart skip a beat every time. His pattern of thought was interrupted again as he felt her curl around his arm, her head resting soft on a pillow of her own hair and his shoulder.

Kankri: H-huh?  
Meulin: I think you're beautiful too...  
Kankri: ...Really?

Meulin nodded, her eyes were closed, and Kankri was staring at her again. Her hands were stroking his arm, he reached over and took one of them in his.

Kankri: Thank you...thank you for being here with me Meulin. I can't possibly explain the way I feel when you're with me, it's like a calm that radiates out from my core.  
Meulin: What do you mean?  
Kankri: I mean, when I'm with you I don't even think of quadrants, I don't think of how our love is defined, all I can think of is you, and giving myself fully to you. you are not just someone I would call matesprit you're...you're more, all?

Meulin broke from his arm and stared at him, he could tell her eyes where focused on his lips and he'd be lying if he said his didn't focus on hers as well.

Kankri: I'd like...like to kiss you.  
Meulin: Then shut up for once and do it!

Meulin gave a wicked grin as she leaned in, as did Kankri, as their silhouettes met time seemed to slow. His arms wrapped around her gently pulling her in closer, only making her hungrier for him. In what felt like minutes but was mere moments they came apart, staring deeply into each others eyes.

Kankri: With you by my side...all of you....I know we're going to pull this off, we're going to change this world I just know it.

And if this story was one of merely romance and not of love that is where our story would end, with a happiness pure and eternal. But this is a story of love and not of romance, and you my dear reader already know what is to happen next, just as our dear helmsman, I mean psiionic knows. After all, ire is not an emotion that blazes, it simmers, and it waits.

It may seem harmless at a distance, but as you draw near, that is when you truly risk getting burned.


	3. The Colour of Blood and Rage

There are so many details I could share to invoke the feeling, I could talk about how rough the burlap was, how every caress it made against their skin threatened to cut. How the roar of the crowd deafened them to any words of derision that may have been slung at them. I could go into great detail about how metal bands pressed into skin, or the feel sharp spear heads in backs to encourage a brisk pace. I could describe the horrid smell of decay and rot that clung to the air, or the sickly warmth that permeated the Alternian summers night air. I could clarify the wounds in jade, in red, in olive already inflicted, of chipped fangs or of missing friends, already shipped off, stripped of all agency.

But in reality all I really have to mention is the look on Porrims face as her hood is removed and she see's it there, the stockades designed specifically for her charge, their tall frame to hold his hands up high above his head, and the eternally heated shackles attached. It had been at the hearing, that accursed hearing she first heard it suggested. 'If he can merely stop all bleeding, why not just inflict him a wound which will not bleed' the teal blood had said, this wasn't a means of execution, it was one of torture.

It took only a moment for the crowd to cease its jeers as the Condesce stood, patiently waiting for her subjects to calm down.

The Condesce: Hey bitches, what's up lol. Y'all ready to see this freak burrrrrrrrn?

The crowd gave out and uproarious cheer as the Condesce waited for them to quiet again.

The Condesce: This bitch been talkin smack about how we do shit, so I decided I'd come personally to chaperone this little soiree! Executor if you would.

The Executor, a hulking troll, more muscle then form stepped from the shadows behind the Condesce, slowly taking the steps down from her perch and walking towards the three captured heretics. Both Porrim and Meulin struggled to get free to stand in front of their herald, but were held back by the strong arms of the guards behind them. The executor took the chain between the Signlesses shackles and pulled him towards the burning restraints ahead of them.

The signless didn't struggle, it seemed like all life had left his eyes, he'd been stripped of every garment he had save for those leggings he always wore. His whole body was covered in cuts, showing his blood to all in attendance. His face was a mess of both blood and bruise, he could only see from one eye he had been beaten so badly. He didn't struggle at all as the executor removed his shackles they met eyes for merely a moment before the Signless let out a bellowing hiss as he was placed into his new pair of red hot shackles, through grit teeth he looked out towards the audience gathered, they were all cheering again.

As the executor was heading back to stand with his empress, there was a commotion, somehow the jade blood had gotten free of her cuffs, those fools had been told to watch her carefully, but before he could take a step to stop her the Condesce stopped him.

The Condesce: Let the bitch burn.  
The Executor: ...Yes your majesty.

Porrim came to a screeching halt, she without thinking threw her hands up coming in contact with the red hot metal, she hissed not even hesitating for a moment as the searing of her flesh soon came to be louder even then the crowd who had subsided around them. She pulled at the shackles smashing them together anything to break the chains anything to free him, her mind was clear and her eyes were full of tears, she would not let him suffer, not for her sake, not for anyone's sake, if he did then what was all this for!

Kankri: My guardian...

His voice was weak, but somehow carried all that confidence he had gained, it didn't waiver at all even as it sounded like it would fade into the ether itself.

Kankri: You're in pain.  
Porrim: This is nothing.  
Kankri: Please...there is nothing I could teach this world that I did not find in you first.

His head gently met with hers, forehead to forehead. Shaking it side to side gently he continued.

Kankri: Live, if not for me the foolish man who thought he could change the world, then for the world we have yet to change.  
Porrim: I can't leave you...

Her hands fell limply to her sides, a mess of jade and burnt flesh.

Kankri: I will never leave you my guardian. You are the one who gave me my heart, I am simply giving it back now. Please step away.

Porrim stared into his eyes, she was so close she could see the tears there, tears of fear and uncertainty. She nodded gently, placing a hand on his cheek, she slowly stepped back, hand falling away, leaving a single streak of jade coloured blood, she did not take her eyes off him. Then she felt it, something nick her ear as it flew past, she looked back instinctively placing a hand to the blood gently oozing from the open wound to see the executor with his bow having loosed the arrow that had hit her ear and....

In hysteria the Dolorosa flung herself back to look at her charge, only to see the arrow sticking from his chest, and the look of twisted shock and rage forming on his face. His eyes were fixated on her ear, and then on the executor himself.

What happened next would be grossly misinformed to all those not there, the resulting word could not be heard from a province over, it did not in fact shake the heavens. And though it would haunt the hearts of all who heard it for the rest of their life, it was said in less of a scream and more of a choked shout, perhaps because of the blood pooling in his lungs or maybe because of it only being needed to be heard by the one it was directed at.

Kankri: Y-you....ff-fuck....

The sufferers head fell limp as his pierced heart slowly stopped beating, and with that may have come the sound many had mistaken for the sufferers last sermon all those miles away as his guardian let out a unholy scream. She leapt at the executor, fists balled slamming into his chest. It took three additional guards to drag her off of him, she almost took out one of their throats as they did, she was like a wild animal, feverish as she was dragged off, not relenting a second at her verbal abuse of the executor even as her head was re-stuffed into a burlap sack and she was taken away from the scene.

The Condesce: Dude, fuckin' get it under control!

The executor looked up towards his empress, she was gesturing towards the disciple who too had in the commotion freed herself and was hunched over, clinging to the leggings of the sufferer, she was hissing and swiping her claws at the crowd, who would not let her past.

The Excutor: Of course your majesty, my apologies!

He nocked another arrow into his bow and took aim at her, Meulin looked back at him and locked eyes her voice was low and full of venom

Meulin: Do it then, you have already destroyed my soul!

The vile and disdain caught him off guard, his hands shook to keep the bow steady, ultimately he slowly lowered it. His broad shoulders slumped, the condesce sneered and called to her guards, but it was too late, the disciple leapt into the air and into the crowd threatening to slash open anyone in her path, she fled.

Somewhere on the first of her fleet a gold blood is installed at the helm and a psiionic becomes a helmsman. Reduced through hours of torture to nothing but a body full of psychic energy, he had finally inherited his doom, and if he could think for himself at all, all he could hope was that it was only his doom that would be inherited.

Elsewhere a disciple returns to their life of isolation and becomes again a displaced. She would live out her days alone again, but would not let those who did not know, forget. Her scrawling's could be found on cave walls all over the continent, though none would see their author, until the day they found her dead, still clutching to the leggings of her dead master.

And our dear Porrim, mistress of the cloister, mother to our dear suffered, the Dolorosa would have finally reason to grieve, and time enough to do so as the Condesce had her sold into slavery, after all why let such rare blood go to waste when there is money to be made.

Thus would conclude our tale had it been of a Signless gaining their sign and becoming a sufferer, but no our story has never truly been about him, and there is still more story to tell.


	4. Dedication

It was mid-day, a weird time of day for a troll to be outside, as the Alternian sun was searing hot and relentlessly bright. Anything caught out of shelter at this time would surely find itself dead, save for those of the jade caste that is. One such, named Porrim was indeed outside, lent up against a solemn tree just outside of her cloister, she was young, maybe 7 or 8 sweeps old, a slender build, face plump and full of life yet lived. As she yawned she noted the male troll approaching her and gave an exasperated sigh. Her mentor had finally found her, ruining what was going to be an excellent mid-day nap.

Kankri: Hey, there you are!  
Porrim: And here I hope to remain.

Her remark was snide, but not lathered in the scorn one might expect from a delinquent, regardless her mentor simply chuckled and continued.

Kankri: Are you feeling better?

Porrim stared at him a moment, taking in his full form. he was lithe, though his frame was tall with broad shoulders. A kind smile rested on his face with such ease it was hard to imagine him without it, and his eyes pierced through her, those piercing eyes always made her feel small. He was sweeps older then her and she always felt like she was looking up, catching up to him, everything about him made her feel up.

Porrim: Not particularly. The loss of an entire clutch isn't exactly pleasant.

Kankri took a seat next to her gently, as if the grass itself would not have bent to his presence, but when he places a hand on her shoulder it is heavy, it weighs on Porrim who looks away on instinct.

Kankri: It's not weakness to feel sad-  
Porrim: I am not SAD I am FURIOUS!  
Kankri: Ok, furious that's still not a bad thing. What happened, it's bad and sad and it SHOULD make you mad, but you have to be smart about it.  
Porrim: As if that won't get you killed just as much as being weak.  
Kankri: Maybe so, maybe we're doomed to a system that doesn't care about us, but that doesn't mean we can't care about each other.

Porrim feels the tightness in her chest grip harder, it's taking a lot of her energy to not cry right now.

Porrim: And what if caring means hurting someone?

Kankri stares at her he seems lost not sure what she could possibly mean by that. Porrim is thinking forward to a homestead, and danger, and a knife, and an act she can never forgive herself for. Kankri is still in this moment, and his voice brings her back.

Kankri: I want to show you something.

Porrim sighs again, simply standing, brushing grass from her skirt as she turns she notes the many documents he has pinned to the wall of his room. Blueprints, floor-plans, plans of action, it's a full underground operation for grub survival, her concern does not falter as she looks over these notes.

Porrim: What is...is this some sort of-  
Kankri: Infirmary yea, to take care of sick grubs.

Her mentor gently reached out touching the board, as if doing so would allow him a glimpse at his plans fruition

Porrim: But if they find out about this!  
Kankri: Then I will likely get culled, but I have backups for these plans, even if I die, well, my work will continue beyond me.

Porrim turned away from him deep in thought, she stared at the walls of her hive, placing a hand on one of them. She'd not built this place herself, she'd discovered it, and over time had begun patching it up. It was a long time before the roof would not leak when it rained but it was home now, it was safety. But she did not want to be here yet, she wanted to put this memory off, she could not deal with the guilt of what she had done. Instead she tried to be there, at the day her mentor had died.

Porrim: My mentor...  
Kankri: My charge, you did the right thing.  
Porrim: did I? I let that boy live and he experienced so much pain, so much regret.  
Kankri: And so much love and so much joy.

Porrim's eyes were full of tears as she watched her mentor look up at her with those kind eyes full of love, she still looked up to him, but here he was forced to kneel before her as the guards shoved the spear through his back, an act he does not seem to register.

Kankri: What is wrong my dear charge?  
Porrim: My mentor, what I let him witness...what I did...

Porrim turned away from him, in the Alternian night her form was silhouetted by the rising moons. she stared at them, trying to ignore the incoming bandits who threatened her home.

Kankri: None of us get out of this system without causing pain, my charge. Is that really your fault?

Porrim clutched tighter to the knife in her hand as the trolls stepped in closer, it didn't matter who they were she had to protect Kankri she had to save him, it was the only thought in her head. the scene was a flurry of colour, 3 down she counted but where's the fourth? With a gasp she swung around brandishing her knife but stood in shock as she saw a young troll, hands covered in burgundy blood, eyes streaked with crimson tears trembling over a dead troll.

Kankri: M-my guardian I...he was going to...

Porrim threw herself forward and grabbed the young troll into a tight embrace.

Porrim: It's ok It's ok you had to, it's not your fault it's ok It's ok please be ok!

Her embrace got tight but faltered as she noticed the space between her arms, and the blackness of night. Slowly she stared down at her hands scarred and ruined, her wrists hurt so much.

Mindfang: I'll take her.

This voice snapped the Dolorosa awake as she groggily picked her head up from the cold stone floor, staring up as a wide grin stared back down at her.

* * *

Days into the future, but not many Porrim sits in the hold of a ship. Again she finds herself staring at her hands, mangled, burned beyond recognition, the last signs of a struggle to save someone she loved so so dearly. The cuffs on her hands hurt no less but the pain had become background noise to her. Her attention was stolen by a creaking, it was too soon to be fed. She frowned, her expression hardening further when she saw her.

Impossibly thin, and plain, so oddly plain. Her dress was ornate almost east Alternian in design and her hair was done up in a neat bun, and her horns, curved like a rams. It was the eyes however that Porrim remembered most of all, hollow, as if they looked right past her into the future, the past, anywhere but the now.

Handmaid: Good evening oh Dolorosa, my employer wanted me to extend his gratitude.  
Porrim: You... you're the woman I saw all those sweeps ago, that I've been seeing all these sweeps!  
Handmaid: Yes it has been me, subtly pushing events, making things line up.  
Porrim: What do you mean?  
Handmaid: Well for starters did you never find it weird a grub found its way so far from the brooding caverns, particularly one so deemed 'cull on sight'?  
Porrim: So you...you left him out there? For what, to die?  
Handmaid: No so you would find him. It was your place to be his guardian. You played your part remarkably well.  
Porrim: I don't...understand what part? You speak like all of this was part of some grand scheme.  
Handmaid: I personally wouldn't call it grand but, you were a piece on the board, important to the last, well his last, your last has no purpose to any 'grand' scheme.  
Porrim: And what scheme is that?  
Handmaid: The misery of this planet, of this species. Your job was to raise a prophet who would cause great misery.

Porrim hissed under her breath.

Porrim: How could you say such a thing of him? He preached nothing but goodwill, of helping your fellow troll!  
Handmaid: His message is irrelevant, thousands will die in his name, and thousands more will suffer in silence. Though this is but a side effect to the real goals of my employer.

As if from thin air the handmaid pulled out a cigarette and lit it. She took a long drag from it, tapping the ash to the floor. Porrim stared at this woman she didn't care any longer about how off-putting she was, she was staring a hole right into this handmaid.

Porrim: What an evil woman does to subjugate her people is of no fault of my charge, he did nothing but love in this world and he died for that love I will not let some witch muddy the waters of his name!  
Handmaid: I suppose I am a witch aren't I. But it doesn't matter, he served his purpose as you all did. It doesn't matter how many deaths he caused indirectly or otherwise. Then again I will cede not all deaths he will have caused would be his fault.

Porrim froze in place, suddenly she felt small, so small.

Handmaid: Kindness in your life has brought you nothing but pain, it's a fools gambit.

Porrim stares back at her hands again, she balls them up gently. sweeps have passed but there is still pain, perhaps there would remain pain forever, it was hard to tell.

Porrim: You're wrong. I may have ended up a slave, I may have suffered more then anyone on this hell hole of planet. I may have witnessed those closest to me tortured and killed for the simple treason of being kind, but their kindness made me better, and my kindness will make those around me better.  
Handmaid: And yet you will rot in this hold as nothing more then cargo.  
Porrim: Even when I rot to my very core I will still be alive, and as long as I draw breath however hagged or strained it is, I will choose kindness. Even if it spells my own doom I will choose kindness because I refuse to let the vile and cruel of this world choose for me.

The Handmaid is caught off guard by this, a flash goes over her eyes, it's only there for an instant but Porrim catches it. Regret? Sadness?

Handmaid: It has been...interesting.

She turns to leave only pausing a moment as she does.

Handmaid: Perhaps I will keep that in mind in another life.

And just like that, Porrim was alone again.

* * *

The sea had never been Porrim's favourite method of travel, but what little time she had spent on a boat had more then doubled now. Between her duties as a slave she had managed to somewhat find her sea-legs once more. She spent most of her time however below in the cargo hold, chained so that when she was not supervised she could not throw herself to the mercy of the sea. She was well fed, and even though her work came slow it did not afford her any beatings, as far as slavery went she may just had hit the jackpot. Though to consider her position enviable would be a mistake, for though her bruises from her slave days on shore may have faded, the ghosts of those she left behind still haunted her.

Seeing her 'owner' skulk about the deck was not rare, our Dear Dolorosa would see the pirate captain known as 'Marquise Spinneret Mindfang' out of the corner of her eye often, giving commands, attending to her captainly duties and more often then Mindfang would later admit, staring right back at her. Porrim never dared look directly at her, the few sweeps as a slave on land had taught her well that 'masters' did not take kindly to being seen, as several scars on her back from lashings could attest to. No she merely observed through periphery this woman's actions, and so grew her contempt for this woman who seemingly cared only for her own gain.

But now, in chains yet again, Porrim stood in the captains quarters. A spacious room lavishly decorated in jewel and coin from port to starboard. Ornate furniture lined the walls, and she found herself sitting on a rather comfortable couch, her posture betraying a refinement her bondage and rags could not convey.

She had not been here for more then a minute before the door swung open, Mindfang strolled in, and Porrim for the first time got her first eyeful of the woman.

She was tall, not as tall as Porrim, but some of that was due to the hunched posture Mindfang tended to have, her limbs were gangly, thin, and ended in hands that seemed to fidget between the several buttons, flaps, and zippers that arrayed her jacket. Her under clothes were a tight, tailored exactly to her measurements, but the lack of curve in her body were hidden by baggier outer clothing, her jacket 3 sizes too big for her, and an assortment of belts one might describe as "too many", and boots that slithered all the way up to her thighs. Her face started with a fangED smile that seemed more performance then genuine mirth, and ended in playful eyes, all 8 irises of which looked directly back at our Dear Dolorosa.

Mindfang: Oh. Oh jeez did they really not uncuff you, I really do apologise I guess I do have to do everything myself!

Her tone was surprisingly sugar sweet, her movements betraying a sort of elegance you would not expect from a rogue. As she swept over, quickly unlocking the chains, Porrim eyed the open door behind her, which either Mindfang did not notice, or ignored as the chains clanked to the ground.

Mindfang: You already know me, of course, but let me introduce myself none-the-less, I am Marquis Spinneret Mindfang, at your service.

She gave a low bow, before gently arranging herself next to Porrim on the couch. She sat close, uncomfortably so, her eyes were glued to Porrims hands, whose palms were turned down.

Porrim: It's nice to meet you formally master, I hope my service has been acceptable.  
Mindfang: Hm. More then I could have hoped for.

Mindfangs hands idly slid over Porrims, coaxing the palms to turn. Porrim put up resistance but only so much as to voice a dissatisfaction with the probing, but not enough to overturn her masters will. The palms were scarred over, terribly so, not an inch of the skin on her palms was free from the burn that had consumed them all those sweeps ago, Mindfang breathed out, in part excitement, in part shock.

Mindfang: It really is you!

Her finger traced the burn making Porrim wince, the phantom pain still lingering long after the physical had stopped.

Porrim: I-I don't know what you mean master...  
Mindfang: Hm hm, it's ok I am not angry, excited more then anything.  
Porrim: Excited, master?  
Mindfang: You are the Dolorosa, the grieving one, I've been looking for you for a long time.

Mindfang let Porrims hands go, which immediately went to hiding their bellies once again, Porrim wasn't looking at Mindfang anymore.

Porrim: I am merely a woman who has made...mistakes.

A hand gently placed itself under her chin, slowly pulling her face back to look at her master. Porrims eyes darted about trying to avoid her gaze.

Mindfang: His only mistake was his refusal to fight back, in my opinion.

Porrims eyes go wide and suddenly she can't control her hand as it collides with a loud SMACK against her masters face. She gasps in horror recoiling, but the marquis already has her arm in her grasp.

Mindfang: Ok, I maybe deserved that.

Her grip loosened once she knew Porrim would not run and she continued.

Mindfang: But you must admit his aversion to violence did not help your cause.  
Porrim: It was not just his! It was ours, we....he...I did not want him to experience that heartache, not again.  
Mindfang: It's admirable in a way, to want to save everyone, but unfortunately that's impossible. If someone is to be hurt it is better to be the person who wants you dead.  
Porrim: But does someone HAVE to be hurt?  
Mindfang: On a long enough timeline? I have no idea. I have prevented so much violence simply by planning ahead enough.

Mindfang sighed heavily as she got up, she came to a cabinet with several libations inside. She gently brought out two glasses and poured a thick liquid in them bringing them back over. Porrim took her glass, cradling it within her grip.

Mindfang: But eventually, no matter how well I plan, no matter how much I know, someone always comes for their pound of flesh and I'm left with the option to lie down and let them take it, or to fight back.  
Porrim: That's terrible.  
Mindfang: You would know that better then anyone, they have taken more pounds from you then I could ever give.

Porrim silently stared into her glass, the amber liquids sloshing with the rock of the ship. Slowly she began to weep.

Mindfang: Persecution is bad, I have experienced it since I was very young. The woman before you, well, not everyone believed in her as they do now, I had to fight tooth and nail to be seen how I wanted to be seen. Sometimes that meant taking my lumps, sometimes it meant handing them out.

Porrim gently sipped her drink listening to her masters words carefully.

Porrim: ...Kankri was much the same, it...took an embarrassing amount of time for me to accept him for who he was.  
Mindfang: Oh? I would not have guessed that from the stories about him, I suppose it comes as no surprise, being different helps a recusant view surface.  
Porrim: I guess so.

A silence fell over the cabin, after a few minutes mindfang takes Porrims empty glass and puts it away. Returning Mindfang sits once again uncomfortably close, she's studying Porrims features once again.

Mindfang: You truly are a beauty.

Porrims face flushes jade, but she does not miss a beat.

Porrim: thank you, master.  
Mindfang: I want to know all about you, about your life, what acomplishments you've seen.

Mindfang gently slid a hand over Porrims thigh and leaned in, Porrim gasped gently into her lips, but did not pull away as they pressed together. Mindfangs mouth was warm, surprising for someone with such a cool tongue, and her lips were sweet, like blueberries. Porrim felt her hand gently reciprocate an embrace as it slinked around Mindfangs waist. She closed her eyes and let her master explore to her hearts content. After a moment Mindfang let her free from the kiss, with a content sigh.

Mindfang: Exquisiteness. now please...tell me everything.

* * *

Time had passed once again, and our dear Dolorosa found herself adjusting to a new life free now from shackles, she found herself a cage instead. It was a very comfortable cabin but still a cage none-the-less. where once draped rags now fine silks covered, and painful memories now found themselves insulated by soft cotton. her new work some would call demeaning, but it was nothing Porrim had not experienced before to provide for others. If the cost of comfort was to comfort her master then she saw no shame in it, at least no more shame then her current servitude provided.

Mindfang: Are you ok my Dolorosa?

Porrim lazily looked over to her master, she had been watching the top-men work the sails to catch the breeze. Porrims gaze did not falter anymore, over time she had come to take comfort in Mindfangs company.

Porrim: I am as I am my master.  
Mindfang: Hm.

Mindfang placed a hand under Porrims chin and gave her a good look.

Mindfang: Very well, just make sure you do not become distracted, we are meeting with someone very important today.  
Porrim: Of course my master.

Mindfang let her go and returned to her vigil. The seas were calm, contrary to the storm raging in mindfangs head, Dualscar was a fool, but he was a dangerous fool.

The storm had rolled in slowly as the two ships had stopped side to side, lightning cracked almost as if an introduction as the captain of the opposing ship took to standing across from Mindfang. Most apparent about him was how he dressed, ostentatious purples and gold, haphazardly strewn across his outfit with less mind to fashion then to the message they attempted to send. Bracelets travelled up his arms almost to his elbows and every finger was emblazonment with a ring, signet, band, any kind without much thought to purpose. His face, marred by twin strikes of lightning peered over to his quarry. Eyes violet, mouth curled into a hateful sneer. Dualscar heaved his Ahabs Crosshair over his shoulder with ease, cocking his hip he stared directly at Mindfang

Dualscar: So what will it be? What's your answer?  
Mindfang: Tch Dualscar not even a hello? You wound me.

While her voice was honey suckle sweet, the tone was seeping with malice, it was clear immediately to Porrim that this exchange was already souring.

Dualscar: You do not deserve a hello, wench. The amount of ships in my fleet you've sunk this month alone-  
Mindfang: Ships that had attacked my Gamblenaughts first.  
Dualscar: I WANT my treasure Mindfang.  
Mindfang: Well top tits to that but it's mine now.

Dualscar roared firing off a shot from his crosshairs straight past Mindfangs head, her hair moved only slightly as she stood completely still

Mindfang: Tch, mature. I hope you didn't hit any of my crew with that shot.  
Dualscar: BITCH hand it over!  
Mindfang: It's cute how you keep coming on to me like this, but I've already told you I'm not interested.

Mindfang motioned Porrim forward, who hesitantly did as she said. Her hand gently slithered around the others waist coming to rest there, thumb idly rubbing at a bit of exposed skin on Porrims midsection.

Mindfang: I'm quite happy with where I am in my love life.  
Dualscar: By dating some whore slave?

Dualscars voice dripped derision, Porrims eyes narrowed and she could not stop her tongue even if she tried.

Porrim: Better that then some arrogant man with no sense for fashion, or decorum.

Dualscars eyes narrowed and Mindfangs eyes grew wide as she looked over at Porrim. Porrims glare broke from Dualscar as she looked directly at Mindfang before forcing her lips into her masters and putting on a good show for their voyeur. When she broke off, Dualscars ship was already gone, Mindfang was a little short on breath, but there was a frown clear on her face.

Mindfang: My Dolorosa... I knew there was a reason I kept you around.  
Porrim: Of course my master.

Mindfang slowly untangled from her slave, and made a hand signal for one of her seamen to escort Porrim to her room, she had some writing to do.

* * *

The night was still, unremarkable even, it had been weeks since a certain turbulent encounter had completely left our dear Dolorosa's mind. She slept soundly within her cage, of course it was her first mistake to think herself safe within the confines of this cabin. With one exit and no windows it was less a safe-hold and more a trap, and the Dolorosa its rat within. The door gently clicked open, the darkness would hide the multi-coloured blood that now seeped into her intruders clothes.

Porrim awoke to the pressure of a knife against her neck.

Dualscar: Sit up, whore.

She gently raised herself from her reclined position, coming eye to eye with the burdensome man before her.

Dualscar: What makes you so important that you can sully my ears with nary a word out your mouth hm? You are just a slut, a toy to be used and tossed away you hold no station.

His words dripped with venom, it was clear he was not looking for reply, and the only one Porrim gave him was the gasp in shock as his free hand grasped at her own, tearing at her glove. It put up a valiant fight, but it slipped off. Dualscar stared down with those beady eyes of his at her scars.

Dualscar: Tch of course. Not just a whore slave, but the whore lusus herself. That mutant should have been stomped out before it even began to speak, you are disgusting.

His face was twisted in a sinister grin, or maybe a sneer, the darkness did not help for clarity.

Dualscar: You're mutant charge is dead, you're going to die, and soon after, that bitch of a woman you call master will be held to trial.

Porrim let out a soft chuckle, for the first time in the encounter a grin curled across her face.

Porrim: Then I guess we will see you in hel-

Porrim tried to breath but found herself unable. Jade liquid quickly rushed up her throat making it hard to draw breath as she coughed trying desperately to get anything into her lungs. The sting only registered when she felt the knife that had been at her throat slowly retract from her breast. it was hard to say if the shock on her face came from being stabbed, or the sensation of pooling blood in her lungs. Her arm slipped from under her and she hit her pillow, white sheets slowly turning green. In her fading vision she saw a cape leave her quarters, gently closing and locking the door behind him. She knew she was nothing more then a message for him to leave at this point. As her heart slowed and eyes grew heavy she concentrated as hard as she could.

Of The brooding caverns, an older troll beaming with pride.  
Of a homestead, a young joyful face looking up to her with such adoration, small hands clasped in her grip.  
Of a cave, worried looks, a young woman who would know her as mentor offering her food.  
Of a young man on a boat with a quick tongue and so irreverant, had she ever told him he made her laugh?.  
She held onto their image as long as she could. As she felt the warmth leave her she tried to reach out but no strength was left.

And then she was gone.

* * *

They say in paradox space nothing is new. Any event that has happened or will happen is merely a selection of moments picked from a catalogue. Maybe this brings you concern or maybe it does not. But if you had been that grieving woman in those last moments, maybe you would have taken solace that who you are, who you loved, maybe that could play out again someday, maybe things could be different.

In her life the Dolorosa chose love. Every time she was given a choice, to be cruel, to be paranoid, to turn away, or accept despair instead she chose to love those who entered her life.

She chose to love a grub who any other troll would have killed on sight.

She chose to educate a feral woman who any other would have called a lost cause.

She chose to free a stranger in an act any one else would have deemed foolish.

And she chose confidance even in one who would keep her in bondadge.

If there is any lesson to take from this tale it's-

Karkat: OK WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

You snap out of the trance you were in, eyes lazily drifting away from the passages before you, as you reach up to your face you notice the wet spots on your cheeks.

Kanaya: Oh, Karkat, Sorry. I Have Just Been Catching Up With Some Literature Rose Has Been Writing About Our Ancestors.  
Karat: WHAT? WHY THE HELL IS ROSE WRITING ABOUT OUR ANCESTORS?  
Rose: In truth, the stories of Kanaya's ancestor interested me, and I found myself taken by her tale. So I decided to render my interpretation of the events. Your ancestor is involved as well, quite heavily in fact.

You give a sheepish smile as you motion your dear friend over, the siege you are under had no signs of stopping, and you figure distraction is the best way to keep your sanity.

Kanaya: Come, We Can Start From The Beginning, I Think You'll Quite Enjoy What Rose Has Done With The Story.  
Karkat: WELL...OK, NOT LIKE THERE'S MUCH ELSE TO DO TODAY.

Rose: Ahem, Ancestor, Book One: Grief, Chapter 1; Bittersweet Beginnings.

The night sent a chill through the fields, which were barren and unassuming, and the chill sent a shiver through her body, 'her' in this case being the one who would come to be known as 'the Dolorosa'. For now however she was simply known as 'Porrim'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank my beta readers who can be found on twitter  
> @shoewheels  
> @TheBreeoche  
> and @BourbonSupreme  
> thank you all for being so supportive of my writing and pushing me to do my best.


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